7/9/09

French Linnens... a phonetic tribute.

Oh ello... dahhhhlings! Eets soo gude to av yew eer at my palAce. So. You want to see how mooch mooney ze Fronch pay for zer tabelcloss? You reemember zees peekture?

Wi. Zees is the $485 tabelcloss zat vill make you frans weep in envy and shem if zay speel zer wine on your tabelcloss. It is called Le Pivoines by Beauville. Zo. Eef you buy zees linnen, you must nevair sellve wine. Wine makies your 'ed woozy.
You like zat linen? Come, I sheau you more dahhhling... Ooo... zee spell cheque ees note too appy aboat my fronch. Oh well, I'm French and that enough. No?
Madam, if you are going to 'ave guests to your soiree, zees might be a gude idea if you are looking for somsing to accent your sweeming or ocean tseem. Love zee stahfeesh.


Een Fronce, vi love to decowate wees romantique fleau...ral pattans. Zees bedding is manifique... no? Wi. Si. Ooo wrong lahngeege, par don mi.


Zees flowairs POP. Preety no?


And... eef you steel av mooney leaft, zer ees a bootiful robe zat goes weeth zees towell set... for only $265 American dollars.

Vell... (cough, snort, choke) AHEM... This here palace is a come as you are, always welcome, not uptight, no worries if ya broke it, hope my 1 french looking linen is CLEAN kinda house. $485 is what we spend on repairing a fuel pump for our 12 passenger van and $265 is ALMOST what we spend on keeping this house 78 degrees while it's 115 outside in the Arizona sun. Still, it's fun to see how much my good taste might cost if I weren't so desperately creative.
No French were harmed in the making of this post... Characters in this post were fictional and any likeness to real French individuals is purely coincedental and highly unlikely given my poor phonetic accent.

12 comments:

mrsgarageflower said...

Never - ever would have guessed it! Ever...

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

$485.00 for a tablecloth?? I think not! With 2 kids in college that's books for at least one of them! Even if I won Lotto I think my ingrained looking for bargains would keep me from spending that kind of money!

Lisa said...

LOL - what a fun post!

I can't begin to imagine paying that kind of money for a tablecloth, especially as messy as we are at the table...

Attic Gal Rachelle said...

HAHAHA Very clever post! You are too funny. Start paying those kind of prices for your linens and you just might start sounding like that. Insane.

Val said...

Funny post!!
Gasp choke cough! Not in a million years....heck I don't even own a true table cloth. I just use fabric yardage ..... 485 for a table, that I can do.

southerninspiration said...

This was hilarious!!! No way would I spend that much on linens.......thanks for a great belly laugh today!

Suzanne

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Trés jolie!! ;) Love the photos...so fresh and pretty. :)

Cass @ That Old House said...

Oooh lah lah, eet was soch a chahming post ... but $485 bucks for a tablecloth? HOLY CROW.

For that, I'd want the table, 6 chairs, and a breakfront as well.

Dahling, cute post!
Cass

Riley said...

Ha, ha....you crack me up! So talented, remember? :o)

As for tablecloths, I think the last one I bought was a plastic one for $4.99. $485.00 is the price of a nice, deluxe plane ticket. Or a REALLY fun weekend with friends? :o)

Riley said...

Whoops, that wasn't Riley....it was me.

Amy {The Red Chair Blog} said...

Hwa Hwa Hwa(<-that was supposed to be a laugh with a French accent). Only $485 for a tablecloth? Mere pocket change ;)

Amy

Donna@Donna's Days said...

For $485.00 I could FLY to Paris!

Honestly, your post proved it's how much we spend on the table cloth, it's the care that is put in to making up the table!

 
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