Teaching your Kids to Serve

As Thanksgiving and Christmas quickly approach, there are many opportunities to involve our kiddos in one of the greatest life teaching experiences available: Service.  Somehow, our children transform when they are serving... and so do we.  Whether you host a car wash to raise money for a needy family, mow a neighbors lawn or offer to babysit for free so a couple you know can enjoy a much needed night out... the act of serving softens hearts and creates relief for those you've served and gratitude, empathy, love and family unity for the ones who offer service.  True service is born of love and enlarges the capacity of those who give to give more the next time.

This little punk-a-noodle is mine. She's 4.  She worries about how much milk is in HER glass, who's playing with HER doll, and why the gift we brought to her friend's birthday party isn't going home with HER.  As a family we have enjoyed small moments of serving together and as a parent I LOVE watching the transformation in my children.  We clean the church together on Saturday.... on Sunday they treat the church with more respect.  We babysit for a family who has kids with special needs... my kids take pride in teaching those kids all of the things they're good at and together all the children feel love and are unified.  We make cookies for a neighbor who's struggling.... we watch with excitement and love when those neighbors smile and know we love them.

What I have learned from giving service:

• We love those we serve... if we didn't before, we do after we truly serve them.
• My capacity to accomplish MANY things increases when I serve.  Somehow everything gets done.  There's always time to do something for someone in need.
• My children feel better about themselves.
• My children are grateful, excited to serve again, and truly happy.
• We all have SOMETHING to give.  

WARNING:: Sometimes it is necessary to receive service... graciously.  PLEASE, when someone wants to serve you, let them!  Perhaps you could fold those clothes all by yourself or would get around to mowing your lawn but it's OKAY to allow others a chance to serve and love you... and it's okay to feel relief that a little burden has been lightened.  Just consider how good YOU feel when you give service and allow others the opportunity to bless you!

What opportunities are you taking to teach your kids service?  Do you have traditions this time of year that help you focus on service and the spirit of Thanksgiving or Christmas?  

Paint Sets the Mood

Before you go painting your kitchen blue or your bedroom bright red, take a little time to think about what kind of moods you want in your space.  Do you want a kitchen that evokes strong passions, active and lively conversation, and increases metabolism?  Think Red... or some form of red...'

Green colors invite conversation and friendship.  Green also is a soothing color and the traditional color for peace... a color that's great for a living room or family room.

Yellow is a cheerful and welcoming color.  It brightens dark hallways and energizes those within her walls.  Yellows, in their more subtle form are great for hallways, entries, and living areas.... even bedrooms.

Don't worry about the color police checking to make sure you have the right color in a room. The truth is, you choose the function and mood you want a room to convey and then use color to accomplish that goal.

Take a bedroom for instance.... I want all of my children to relax and never speak another word after 8 pm.  I want them so mellow that they melt when their heads hit the pillow.  I want them always, "feeling groovy" and "chilling out" and  CALM!!!  That's why one particular room is blue... and why another room will be blue very soon... and why I'm seriously considering turning my master bedroom into a "feeling groovy, chilling out, CALM oasis" of blueness.  There is a reason Spa Blue was invented... it was for me.  I'm sure of it.
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!!Fun Reads!!

• For a professional read up on the meaning of every color and shade of the rainbow, go visit the Color Wheel Pro
• If you want to know what moods certain colors evoke, visit the Paint Quality Institute

How have you used colors to evoke moods in your home?
Photo Credits:: Decorpad.com

The Mother Ship:: Motherhood in Male Terms

Star Trek

7 years ago I was driving in the car and trying to explain to my husband how I felt. 7 years ago I had a 3 month old baby and didn't quite feel like myself... by a LONG shot. I loved being a mom. I loved attending to the needs of my family. I loved it all but I felt like my own identity was gone. I couldn't go to the bathroom alone never mind about sprinting to the store to restock the makeup supply or run to the craft store. YIKES!

Husband listened and tried to understand....

Then it hits me: The analogy of all time. Perfect for the wonderfully attractive brilliant man that I married.... I'm the mothership.

You know in the movies... all great missions have a mother ship. The mission could never succeed without the mother ship. Smaller craft are housed in the mother ship... maintained in the mother ship and always return to refuel, get repaired or receive supplies from yes, the Mother Ship.

When I had my 4th I had spent only a few months in between each pregnancy NOT being the mother ship. Everyone physically needed me for something. Nursing babies attached for refueling, smaller children attached for guidance or protection, older children found me in the bathroom in dispose even when I turned on my cloaking device to request repair or refueling and my husband... well, lets just say being the mother ship is a physically demanding job. Even exhausting.

It's easy in those moments to forget who you are. You become a docking station; a service station; a collective entity that lives to fulfill the mission. It's easy to feel like every inch of your beautiful body has become a utility for an others physical needs.

Star Wars

So how does a Mother Ship retain her identity? Never Forget the Mission. EVER. You accepted it. The mission would fail without you. Your little ships need you and you house the heart of all that is sacred and worth saving. You are the main generator, the life source, all that is good, keeper of the innocent and pure. After a day of fueling, housing, servicing, maintaining, and protecting think about your mission. If you explain things well to that sweet husband, maybe, just maybe, you'll be the Mother Ship wearing lipstick and high heel shoes. Some day your little fighter jets will stop coming to refuel and you can repurpose your ship to fly along side those fighters but until then... you're the Mother Ship... and never forget it.

Watch husband finally "get it" ... it's such a great analogy it may even make him cry... or at least salute the great things you do!

Family Medical Logs:: Keeping Valuable Records at the Risk of Looking Like a Dork.

Family Medical Log

Okay- so with 8 people in the family I dread the doctors question, "When was the last time your daughter had strep throat?" ...or any other ailment for that matter. How the heck am I supposed to remember with 6 kids... THEY ALL GET IT! One starts it off and then the rest are sick for weeks. It's a month before I can surface again and resume normal life. If it's stomach flu.... don't get me started.

We had to treat our entire family for scabies one time (contracted from our pet rat ... who is no longer our pet... animal rights people, hate me). I took an entire household of linens and clothes to the Laundromat... $65 later and $300 worth of medicine for 3 weeks x 8 people... we were cured. I decided years ago that I needed a better system.

Here's the log.


I won't show the pages because you'd fall over dead to see how many times we go to the doctor in 1 year.

This was done very quickly and I'm still using it... it's one of my not so Pretty Organizers.

• I divide the notebook into sections.
• Every family member gets their own page.
• Every time my kids get a prescription or have a major event, I write the date and a short note of what it was for.
• I use the stickers that Walgreen's or CVS gives you with your prescription and stick them to the entry so I know exactly what was prescribed and in what dose... this helps if the medication needs to be changed.
• After several years we have a pretty comprehensive medical history that I can proudly recite when a doctor asks me... I can even tell him what he prescribed!

Now when I go to the doctor I take my log... at the risk of looking like the worlds biggest dorker. When the doctor asks his questions I flip to the correct kid and watch him gasp. Then I wait for his eyes to pop back in his head and give him the full medical history of my child's ailments. Without fail I walk out of the doctors office a model maternal patient... too bad they don't hand chocolate out to the moms for keeping good records. And, Do you think he wonders if I KNOW what I'm talking about? Ever? Nope. Can't argue with a mama that has years worth of correct diagnosis and evidence in front of her...

Death Makes You Think:: Are you prepared?

I've written the first line of this post about 20 times trying to make it come out eloquent... it just doesn't. It's raw and sad and really... Sunday's news hit me to the core. I usually prattle on over here about making life Pretty AND Organized, and having priorities together... today I'm the hippo sized hypocrite.

We found out at 9:45 Sunday in church that a close friend of our family died that morning. It was announced to our church congregation. The news leveled our little close knit community and pained our family. It was so unexpected... I just talked with him Friday. He was my sons Scout Master and had canceled the backpacking trip planed for the weekend. Sunday morning he was gone. I have a deep abiding faith about where he is and a knowledge that he WILL be together forever with his family... losing someone is hard but looking through an eternal perspective in Gods plan, I find comfort.

The hardest emotions today surrounded thoughts of his family. He was 36. He has a wonderful wife and 4 fantastic children with a much anticipated 5th child due in November. How will SHE do? How will SHE make it? I cried. I grieved. I prayed. Then I pondered.... am I prepared?

In this arena, no I fall short. I have a plot of dirt paid for... a family spot paid for over a hundred years ago. A will? Nope. Life Insurance?... not enough to raise 6 kids, just enough to cover the funeral. My affairs, as I expect many of ours are, are not settled.

I have a years supply of food storage... no joke. I can keep my family and neighbors from starving and I live frugally for sure. I'm well learned in gardening, sewing, home repairs, and many other homemaking activities that have helped me to prepare for an unstable future... but that isn't enough.

I'm a mom of 6 children.... and THAT is worth planning my future for.


Times are rough for everyone. Some have job loss and others have had a decrease in salaries... personally, we've lost 10% of our income this year. Still, priorities are always able to change. Life insurance and a plan for our future has become mine and I'll give up a lot for security and peace of mind in knowing that if tragedy struck our family, we'd weather the storm together without the worry of where to live or how to provide.

So how are you doing with planning for your future? Do you have enough insurance? Is your will in place? Are you willing to give up your regular trip to the nail salon or that fancy gym membership in order to make a plan for your family?

Photo Credits: Mom shirt Zazzle.com, LegalZoom.com

Priorities:: The Cold Hard Truth

A famous Spanish violinist, Pablo de Sarasate once said, "For 37 years I practiced 14 hours a day, and now they call me a genius."

Priorities say a lot about who you are and where you're heading.

Sometimes as women we spend too much time pining for things and less time making them happen. My children are sick of hearing me lecture them, "You're smart! You get good at what you practice. If you practice pouting... you'll get good at it. If you practice lying... you'll get good at it. If you practice patience and love... you'll get good at it!" Those little peanuts of mine know that they are responsible to practice the things that matter most to them in this life. They know that life has priorities and you practice the ones that are most important to you.

So,if you want a stellar house but keep walking by the dirty undies on the floor, where are your priorities? Are you really more interested in watching that T.V. show and sleeping or maybe your focus is toning up at the gym? Is your goal to get organized but you spend your time in blogland reading and "getting inspired" instead of making it happen? Are you really committing to the things that are most important to YOU?

The great thing about priorities are that they can change. The priority list is ever in flux and that ebb and flow allow us freedom to shift gears and rededicate ourselves to life's most important activities. Missed opportunities in areas that are important to us too often are our own fault... we don't use our time to "practice" or "work" toward that thing that will give us the greater joy. (In my case, getting baby #6 potty trained!)

So, today I ask... How are your priorities? Are you dedicating yourself to those things that will make your life most rich and meaningful? How can you rededicate yourself to something that has slipped by the wayside?

Photo credits: Roger Davies and Eric Bowman

Slap a Label on it and Call it Good

In a perfect world our toy room/ office would like this... even the dog would look like he's supposed to be there. Organizing a space isn't such a bad thing. I mean, I CAN do it... if everyone leaves me alone. What takes the biggest amount of time is not figuring out WHAT to put things in or WHERE... it is labeling the space.

Think I'm crazy?... think I'm an organizing freak? Well, notice how BHG is strutting their pictures here at the Palace... I'm not quite OCD on organizing. Remember, I'm pretty organized- in the sense of "realtively" organized or "for the most part." No, I don't have all of my closets perfectly put together but I do know this:

If you have a space for something... it better have a name and a label. Don't you just love these drawers labeled with days of the week so your kiddo has his outfit picked out for each day? Brilliant idea!... unless of course they're 3, still having accidents and prone to whimsically change their outfits 4 times a day.

A place for every thing and every thing in its place. It's hard to expect every household member to know where everything goes. Labeling your spaces make putting things away easier and cuts down on the amount of time required to clean. You'll have more help with less stress if you take the time to define your space and call it what it is.

So, slap a label on it (it doesn't have to be perfect) and call it good! Worry about pretty boxes, and matching baskets, and fantastic containers later... you don't need designer storage containers to get organized. At very least you can afford elbow grease, a sharpie and masking tape.

Got a fun package in the mail last week and can't wait to show you! I {Heart} you sweet readers who send me fun stuff!

Online Chore Charts Made Easy

We all are looking for solutions to help our punk-a-noodles to learn how to work and be responsible. I've written about it HERE, and Here, and Here, and gave my own organizational chore chart over HERE. Well, I've found a great site that may just help you manage your kiddos chore AND any goals you may have!
GoalForIt.com is a great online source for free kids chore charts and goal setting. You can do it privately or invite other friends to join a group for setting goals as well.

They have chore charts that you can customize. You choose the chores (they even come with pictures) They have tons of themes for boys...


And themes for girls.... All you need to do it log in and print them out.

GoalForIt.com

Here's to getting control of your house again as school begins! Cheers! Loud applause! Hoots and Hollars! Whoo Hoo!!

How do you think your kids will respond to their customized chore chart?

Pretty Organizers Top Tips

Ladies, today I feel a bit like a soggy noodle. Fair warning should be given that the chlorine that I took in while training for the swim portion of my triathlon this evening may have reached toxic levels and affected my brain... at least my thoughts are clean! Thus, today's post has little rhyme and even less reason to it's composition...

Remember this secret?

I'm uber Pretty Organized... that is- fairly or moderately so, and I'm hoping to make this Christmas a little calmer than last. Why... okay, shhh... I'll let you in on a secret... Promise not to laugh, hate me, or shun me because I've consequently had to cut down on my chocolate intake.... I'm training for my first triathlon. {Konk, gafaw, snort... stop laughing family and friends} No worries though... it's a Sprint triathlon-- those are triathlons for chocolate bingers like me! Race day is December 5th.... so if you visit December 6th and there's no triathlon post it's most likely due to the fact that I drowned mid way through the swim portion and my relatives are reading the will to find out who has the "laundry for 7 life sentence". If that is the case, I'll be in heaven resting, eating heavenly chocolate and watching all of you do your laundry.

Well, I'm blaming all my folly these days on triathlon training... you ought to try it, it's all the rage and everyone thinks you're some super athletic chic (I am, I gave up chocolate binges while training...Ahh.. yes, now on to my tips. (Sound tippsy don't I?) dang check out my bad punctuation!

Tip #1: Make every piece of furniture count. If you have a bed- jack it up and store things underneath. If you need a table- improvise with something that will "store" Christmas or treasures or whatever! Wasted space is such a waste! Stop complaining about your shortage of closets and invent your own!

This is not the correct way to keep your child in time-out... though I give this parent an E for effort.

Tip #2: Ask your child to stand on one foot for his/her time out. I have kiddo's that wouldn't stay in time out. Desperation is the mother of invention... I asked my son to serve his time-out on one foot. The amount of concentration it takes for a kid to balance on one foot seems to chase away the thought of leaving the spot.
Tip #3: Let someone else do the nagging. Teach a lesson without saying a word. I talked about silent lecturing in THIS POST.

Often when my kids get in trouble I assign sentences for them to write. I got tired of thinking up great sentences and decided that the hymnbook at my church had about every lesson covered in it. When I want to drive a message home I sit them in front of our hymnbook and have them copy the words to the hymn... (and if I have the song, I play it in the back ground).

This works great for our musical family because my kids are learning hymns while they write and I don't have to lecture! So far I've found hymns on honesty, making good choices, not speaking ill of others or gossiping, increasing love in the home, and serving others.

If you don't have a hymnbook to use you can try poems on different character traits or values. Try an online search and let your kiddos learn the message you want to deliver without ever telling them a word.

photo credits: Southern Living and Flickr

A 2 Story House is a Yelling House

Nobody told me when I was house hunting. It took me 7 years of owning a 2 story home to figure it out. Two story houses are yelling houses. And in case ya'll were wondering, that house above is not my house... neither are the other ones... these are my dream homes.
So how in the world with a family of 8 do I make this house a non-yelling house? Well, in all truth I'm still working on it. When there are 6 kids to bring something downstairs for you and you don't have to leave the pot your stirring in the kitchen, the temptation to yell upstairs to one of the kids and stay lazy overwhelms me more often than my sad triathlon training butt cares to admit.

One of the greatest ways I've cut down on my yelling in the home has been to hang a dinner bell in my kitchen. Every meal I ring the bell and my hungry punk-a-noodles come running. They know the bell means business (because if they're not here in time for prayer they have to watch us eat for a good 5-10 minutes before being served).

Gales Gifts has several styles but if you shop around I'm sure you'll find one that suits your home.

Along with our dinner bell I use other sounds to cue my children into action:

Sunday Morning music cues wake up time and breakfast. This sets the tone in our home as we prepare to worship on the Sabbath.

Upbeat work music helps cue kiddos that it's time to do the chores.

The sound of a moving starting in the family room will gather everyone as easily as a bell... but the gang knows that jobs have to be finished to participate.

I have a large key chain that has tipped of my little ones and the dog that I'm getting ready to leave. A little shake of those keys and my kids run to find out where I'm going and if they can come too. (note: this isn't too helpful when you're trying to leave for date night.)

I admit, trying to keep from yelling to my kids saps my self discipline. Its hard! But I also believe that taking that walk upstairs to speak to my children is worth it. I don't want to be remembered as a grumpy yelling mom. Over time yelling just trains our kids to not listen when we yell. I want my kids to know they're worth the extra 12 steps to talk to lovingly... and maybe, just maybe, my tone will be worth listening to.

How do you keep your house from becoming a yelling house?

Trash Lockers Turned Fashion Eye Poppers

Anyone lurking around this Palace knows my little Craigslist problem. Well, after falling off the Craigslist 12 step wagon I'm on the prowl again.... for old school lockers.
I have a room with 3 boys and have decided that I can look at trashy lockers better than I can look at the things on their floor. I set off on a tour through blogland for locker inspiration and do believe I found a few gems.
The great thing about these babies are that they're durable and age only makes them look better... age and a coat of fantastic spray paint. I could use a boys room full of lockers.
... and maybe a dining room as well. This little mini locker is sold at the Bombay Co. and is great for keeping baseball equipment or school books.
Now, if you're lucky enough you may find pull out bin lockers. Craigslist isn't the only place to find lockers. Check you're local city, county or state government surplus auctions. They're often found by the bulk.
If you need to make a quick closet... how great would this be? First I need to retrain my boys to hang the clothes on the rod... and my 13 year old may not be able to fit his size 10.5 shoe in one of those cubbies. LOVE this color!
I've seen several tall single column lockers for sale. IKEA has a few options for sale.
A locker for diapers, socks, shoes, shirts, pants, toys, bath supplies... you name it! Don't forget to head over to one of those fantastic online hardware places for clever classy looking ways to label your new space.
I'm putting this locker project in the que. It falls right after repainting my 3 dressers, expanding my laundry room, organizing my closets, and throwing away all the unmatched shoes. Need to come clean and start my 12 step Craigslist program again... sigh...

Wanted: Potty Jedi Master

Help! My house has been taken over by Storm Poopers! If you want to know a for sure non-hormone, non-invasive, and surgery-free method of birth control I have it.... potty training. Yes, today marks Day 1 of my last ever potty training sentence. I'd like to say that after 6 kids I've got this potty thing down pat. I'd like to tell you some sure fire no stress method of getting your kiddo to sit on that modern wonder of sanitary convenience and do his business but I can't.

You see, children are different. With 6 kids I've done it all, read every book, heard every theory, bought every drink, dispensed every treat, penciled every chart and cleaned up more potty than is descent to discuss in blogland. Some kids wake up and decide that today is the day they want to be big and train themselves (for the record, none of them were mine), others enjoy the training game and play right along.... and there are the "other" ones; THOSE are mine.

So what CAN I tell you about potty training?

1. It takes time (just short of forever... but you live through it).
2. Naked days aren't just for laundry relief... most kids have an aversion to peeing on the carpet and are more aware of their bowels without the undies. I just let 'em streak for a few days and set the potty in the middle of the room.
3. Every kid has an Achilles' Heel. There is a bribe for every child: Cowboy Boots, Barbies, Princess "stuff", Stickers. My 2nd son wouldn't poop on the toilet and drove us crazy until we offered him mini M&M packs for every poop... done! Unfortunately, you don't figure out that bribe until you've experienced every form of desperation.
   
4. Plan on packing a diaper bag again. Only this time it's an underwear bag and it goes everywhere. Pack wipes, lots of bags, extra undies and clothing (don't forget socks... they often get wet) and some chocolate to keep you sane for after you've laundered dirty undies in the grocery store restroom toilet.
5. Don't even bother yelling or getting mad. I tell you this hoping to finish this post BEFORE the lightening strikes me. Yelling at your kids just make him/her confused. Love their little stinky bottoms through it. Love 'em while you clean up the mess. Encourage them while you run that 14th load of laundry for the day. Smile at them when they emerge from under the table with a guilty look on their face... just love them because they don't get it when we're mad.

Yes, though it seems like eternity it does pass. It passes sooner than you think and pretty soon those little wet pants are now dry ones entering 8th grade with a size 10.5 men's shoe and 2 inches taller than you. It all passes so fast. So dear readers, I'm off for my last duel with the Storm Poopers and hoping my kid will become DryWalker before I expire.